God Tells an Agnostic His Innermost Thought

Friends, I hope you will be encouraged as we share our salvation testimonies with one another and, hopefully, with family and friends.  I am pleased to post the testimony of Larry Nevenhoven on this blog.  I met Larry through our shared interest in helping North Koreans find food and freedom.  I want to encourage you to visit his blog and share a comment here to encourage this man who was once an agnostic . . . until God “read his mail”.

        In 1985, my life smashed into a brick wall. I needed thousands of dollars to start a publishing company and bail my family out of debt. My sources were all maxed out and the hope level in my reservoir was hovering at empty. I was finished.

        The only untouched asset I had was a $125,000 life insurance policy. So, my solution seemed obvious: suicide.

As for taking my life, I had no problems with it because I was an agnostic. No God equals no problems with eternal judgment, right? It wasn’t personal, just a business solution for my family and me.

My plan was uncomplicated. I planned on enjoying one last weekend with my family and then committing suicide on that Monday evening.

Thus, on May 20, 1985, I spent the day finishing up loose ends. Then, for some reason, I stopped at an insurance agent’s office. Although we knew each other, Bill and I were not intimate friends and had never really talked to each other before that day.

Bill invited me into his office. We discussed baseball. Then in the middle of our conversation, he stared at me and said, “You’re thinking about committing suicide, aren’t you?”

His words hit me like a sledgehammer. How did he know? I told no one. It was my secret $125,000 payday. I was speechless. As I sat there, a vision played across my mind about my car ramming into a viaduct and killing me.

I wept and although I tried to regain my composure, I could not. “How did you know?” I asked.

“Oh,” said Bill, “the Lord told me while we were talking to each other.”

His words shattered my unbelief. God was alive and He cared about me. We continued talking and he finally gave me a book to read: Power in Praise by Merlin Carothers.

When I arrived home, I began reading the book. After a few pages, I walked into the bathroom, closed the door and knelt in front of the sink. Looking into the mirror, I prayed, “Jesus, I’ve tried everything else and they haven’t worked. I guess I’ll give You a try.”

Instantly, I was changed. Fear and shame were no longer a part of me, but instead, joy and hope filled my heart. Bowing and worshipping my new King, I promised to never let go of His hand.

If my story were a fictional Hollywoodmovie, perhaps it would resemble It’s A Wonderful Life. Jimmy Stewart would play me and Donna Reed my wife. The angel would get his wings and everyone would live happily ever after. The end.

But sadly, my life has not been a work of fiction. It has been a day to day journey, filled with a few good experiences, but also many mistakes, false starts and failures. Divorce. Loss of friends. Numerous firings from sales positions. Low-paying jobs. Poverty. Rejection. Loneliness. Not exactly, a picture perfect Christian life.

And yet, it has been in the deepest valleys where the Lord has truly revealed Himself to me. It was there He became my loving Father and I learned His grace was sufficient for me.

Larry’s three blog websites are:

www.larrywho.wordpress.com (main site with testimony)

www.remembertheprisoners.wordpress.com (North Korea)

www.proph101.wordpress.com (how to prophesy; this will be a book next year)

 

 

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About Lift the Cross of Jesus!

My day job is writing--I'm an author and publisher of a number of books. More on that later. But there is nothing of greater importance to me than the early morning hours I spend with the Creator of the Universe. Although He knows everything there is to know, His greatest delight isn't to give us knowledge, but to give us love. My highest joy is to watch the sun rise with notebook in hand and write the words he speaks to my heart. I want to share some of those words with you here . . . words on the cross.
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3 Responses to God Tells an Agnostic His Innermost Thought

  1. That was awesome!!! 🙂 Thanks for sharing that, Hope!

    Like

  2. Well, Larry told the story but I’m so glad to share this platform. I hope you’ll share your salvation story, too, Brittany. Email it to me and we’ll post it. I’ll be glad to post your book, too!

    Like

  3. Great testimony of God’s authority over our lives, when all we can think to do is kill ourselves –
    He intervenes. I was there also. We all need to remember Job and though we are sifted and beaten by the enemy, God has commanded him that he cannot have us. Thank you lord, for preserving Larry. The Lord gives the Lord has taken away – blessed be the name of the Lord.

    Like

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